A couple of funny sayings I had to post

I heard a couple of good ones lately and I had to share them.

First one was a guy who worked with a co-worker in Texas. Apparently he had bitched at his old lady one day for not making his sandwiches the way he wanted them. The next day at lunch he opened his lunch pail and pulled out his sandwich. The sandwich looked and felt different. He pulled apart the two pieces of bread and found a cut out picture of a fish. The note read “next time I bet you won’t bitch about the sandwich”. I laughed my ass off. I like the way she thinks.

Another one is a little off color; so close your eyes as to not be offended. A few of us were working Saturday when one of the fellows told us about guy who had just came back from off-shore. He claimed “I have been jacking off in a tube-sock for so long that my dick is starting to grow a toenail.” Again, I laughed my ass off.

And the last one was on the radio awhile ago. They had a contest and asked the contestants questions. One question was “who is Fannie May and Freddie Mac?” One of the contestants said “ain’t that the black comedian that died a couple of weeks back?” I laughed out loud on that one. Later.