Motley Crue

Wednesday night I was fooling around on the internet and came across Ticketmaster’s website. The wife mentioned that Motley Crue was in concert at the Cajundome Friday. So I dug around and found some seats. The prices ranged from $25 to $95. I was not about to pay a couple of hundred dollars to see an 80’s band in 2009. The next morning I was looking on the site again to see what else they had coming up and looked at Motley Crue tickets again. There was a Mardi Gras special so I inquired to see how special it was. Basically the seats I was thinking about getting for $49.50 were only $15. With two tickets I would be saving damn near $70. I couldn’t pass it up. So I got the tickets and printed them out right then and there.

You see, as some of my past and present co-workers can attest I am a fan of 80’s music. I think that the 80’s produced the best music ever. And I really like to go and see bands that broke apart and are back together again. We went and saw Poison last year and Kiss several years ago. Both of these bands hand all the original members playing when we saw them. And last night we got to see Motley Crue. I’ll tell you… it was different than I expected.

There were four bands total. It started at 6:30 pm with a band called “The Last Vegas”. Neither of us had ever heard of them before, but I would say that they performed better than all the other bands. The sound was better and their heart was really in it. Next in line was “Theory of a Dead Man”. This group was all right. Extremely load with lots of bass. My shirt vibrated the whole time they played. Next in line was “Hinder”. They were pretty good too. I didn’t know but one or two of their songs…not normally what I listen to. And then at about 9:15 Motley Crue came out.

While walking up to the entrance of the Cajundome, there was a foreign fellow holding a sign about Lesbos, gays, porn, and other things that you are not suppose to be or do. I didn’t understand why this jackass was standing outside until Motley Crue came out. The concert started with someone talking about something I couldn’t make out and a huge black drape in front of the stage. A light was behind two people casting their shadow on the drape. One was an angel and the other was the devil; both on opposite ends of the stage. Then the angel walked over to the devil and got on it’s knees and made gestures that would leave you to believe that the devil was getting a hummer, if you know what I mean. “Ah ha” I said. “This is why the dunecoon is standing outside holding a sign and handing out literature about trying to save my soul”.

Through out their performance they showed other “questionable” things on three jumbo-trons. Ranging from upside down crucifixes, to naked chicks, to not-so-flattering things about George Bush. The Crue had incorporated their political views into their show. Whatever; it is their show. I chose to see it. I could have chosen not to see it. And next time that is exactly what I will do-choose not to see it.

One thing I did like was ole Tommy Lee came out on stage and said hello and talked awhile and at the end he got down on bended knee and mentioned al the things he was thankful for. “Being in Lafayette performing, blah blah blah, and for our new president.” Everyone booed him. He stood up and made comments about “I can’t believe ya’ll would rather have some old blah blah blah in office” and got back behind his drum set. I thought it was funny. He was kind of stunned when we booed his ass. He didn’t know what to think. I paid to see him use two sticks and make noise with some drums not his ignorant, liberal, drug-burnt opinions.

Anyway, it got us out of the house and gave us something to put in the record books. Later.

Ain't the internet cool

There is a website called craigslist that has all sorts of stuff for sale from all over the world. I had been looking on the local level for vehicles for sale when I was in the market for a truck. I still go there from time to time in hopes of finding a great deal on parts or another vehicle I could sell for a profit. It does not categorize as well as other sites that I regularly go and check out; but it is alright.

Well tonight, I noticed at the bottom under services there is an erotica section. Hmmm I think to myself, I wonder what this is. Come to find out it is an “escort” type service. They have pictures and prices right there for you to choose which one you want. We are talking prices ranging from $50 for 15 minutes to $300 an hour. And the $300 an hour was a chunky chick. But if you buy minutes in bulk you get a better deal. But here is the kicker…some of them have a $10 fuel surcharge for outcalls! How bad is the economy when whores charge a fuel surcharge? Hey, make the money any way you can girls. If I could get paid for having sex I probably would too. I imagine that if I was to become a gigolo, I would be collecting unemployment though. Later.

Coffee drinker

I am not a coffee drinker. But if they were to open one of these around the house, I may have to start. Later.

Who cares what dopers think anyway?

Here is one for you. Kellogg may have done more damage by dumping Mike Phelps for being a pot head than if they would have kept him.


Dumping Michael Phelps over the now notorious photo of him taking a bong rip is not looking like the best move for Kellogg. Pot activists, who insist they make up a large share of consumers of Kellogg products, organized a boycott of the company. The boycott resonated with Kellogg customers to such a degree that when you called Kellogg, the first audio recording you heard was not about the nation-wide salmonella outbreak that had sickened dozens of people, but was a message for callers who were concerned about the company's relationship with Phelps.

First off, Kellogg specializes in breakfast food. How many dopers do you know that are up in the morning bright-eyed and bushy tailed to eat breakfast. Seriously, these folks usually sleep in. Second, Pot heads can’t remember shit. By the next day, they will have the munchies and will be rooting through mom’s cupboard eating what ever the hell than can find. Rather it has the Kellogg rooster or not, it is fair game when they get the munchies. Later.

Another great weekend

We started off planning a fishing trip to the Sunrise Catfish ponds near DeRidder, Louisiana Friday. The wife and I loaded up the poles Saturday and headed out around 10 am in hopes of catching a good mess of catfish before the rain came blowing through. We caught ten total weighing in at 14 pounds. Not to bad, but these fish on average were smaller than what we normally catch. You just can’t beat catching fish and having them filleted while you wait. No mess, no worries, just a credit card is all you need. The wife had good success with night crawler flavored dough catfish bait. She caught the majority of the fish and made sure that I was aware of her superior fishing capabilities. We left there about 2 pm and headed to Longville to get a Lumberjack special. The Lumberjack is a hamburger served at one of two gas stations in Longville.

We came back home and I made a run to the local grocery store to get the needed supplies to fry some fish. You can’t fry fish without jalapeño flavored hush puppies and french fries. I had a bag of mixed seafood containing things such as squid, clams, mussels, crab, etc… that I had purchased a week back and decided to cook it in a gravy. I found a recipe for a Brazilian Stew on the internet and ran with it. It turned out alright. The neighbor said he liked it. The wife wouldn’t even try a bite. Scardy-cat. It is hard to find Brazilian food at the local Market Basket. I had to improvise a tad.

I checked the mileage on the 4x4 Super Duty this weekend. I got 11.4 mpg on the highway and 10.5 the weekend I went mud riding. Not to bad considering it is a ¾ ton 4x4 automatic with a lift and the aerodynamics of a loaf of bread. Fellow rednecks were checking out my tires at the catfish farm. I went any where I wanted to go without fear of getting stuck. I really enjoy having the insurance of four wheel drive just in case you need it. Later.

I saw this cartoon the other day and didn't think enough of it to post. Awhile ago I saw it again but with an article about how Al Sharpton was offended by it. I figured I had to post it of it offended that racist bastard. Later.

Later.

Later.

Andy Rooney on women over 40

In case you missed it on 60 Minutes, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about
women over 40:

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it...

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Later.

Menopause Jewelry

Here is one for the ladies:

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big frickin' red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond; Dumb ass. Later.

North versus South

The North has Bloomingdale’s, the South has Dollar General.

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races.

North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish.

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt.

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . .....

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that 'He needed killin.' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.

Later.

Proof that rednecks were once here-12 foot tree stumps

When we go camping, we are always trying to find something new to do each year. But one thing that has been a constant through out the years of camping is shooting trees down. The top picture is a tree about 8 to 10 inches in diameter and the second tree is the largest so far at about 16 inches in diameter. I will have to measure it next time but it is at least 16 inches in diameter. And when it fell, it took another tree out with it. If you are a deer, rabbit, or any other wild game in the woods you are safe. But if you are a tree, mud hole, can of paint or worse a can of beer, you better watch your ass around us. Later.

Career change

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results were announced, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

The instructor said, "During the exam you took the engine apart perfectly which was worth 50% of the total mark. You then put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor smiled and added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my whole career." Later.

Here is the picture I put as my desktop on my computer. I have others showing more mud. But this photo was just to pretty to pass up. Later.

Here is the "bone" tread pattern. These tires should not be called Crushers. They should be called Earth Movers. These bad boys throw mud clods like nothing else I've seen. Huge clumps of mud seem to levitate in the mirror when I tapped the throttle. It was a beautiful site. Later.

Here is the painted bumper. Later.

Here is the truck with wheels and tint. A question was asked what size tire I used. It is a 305/70R16. And it is close to rubbing while turning. I would rather a taller tire for aesthetics but I like the idea of being able to flex without fear of cutting/rubbing a tire. Later.

More upgrades

I had window tint put on the truck today including an "eyebrow" on the windshield. I also painted the front bumper with Duplicolor; sort of like Rhino Liner. I purchased some more today and intend on painting the back bumper next. Someone painted them black over the factory gray finish and it was pealing. I will hopefully get some new pictures up soon. I plan on taking it out on the maiden voyage to the deer lease this weekend and seeing what those tires can do. Later.

New rims and tires

Here is a the tires and rims I put on the truck last night. They are Dick Cepek DC-1 Black rims and Dick Cepek Crusher tires. The tire lugs are bones. The tire is nicknamed the "Bone Crusher".

I also installed new leaf spring bushings in the front. The old ones were worn out and had slack allowing for a popping noise when I turned corners. Changing the wheels were easy. The bushings on the other hand were a bear. It involved lots of cussing, penetrating oil, air chisel, and knuckle skin to get those bastards out. 8 years of rust is tough on a metal sleeve. Later.

Click on the picture to make it bigger... no pun intended. I meant make it easier to read. Later.

I received this picture in an e-mail titled "waiting for obama". Later.

Another truck

Here is a picture of the truck I purchased Wednesday. It is a 2001 F-250 four wheel drive with the 5.4 V-8 gasoline engine. I sold my two wheel drive last month to buy a four wheel drive. I wanted to purchase a 4x4 that I could use to go to the deer lease and not worry about scratching it up. But I didn't want a pile of shit either. I really like the look of the Super Duty and wanted the solid front axle versus IFS. I looked at a F-350 with the 7.3 diesel and almost bought it. But I don't need to tow that much, a half ton would suffice, and the weight of the diesel would limit my mobility on the lease. A diesel weighs about 1800 lbs more than the gas. I didn't realize this until I looked up the numbers. And I was afraid that if I ever stuck that big bastard in the woods I would never be able to get it out. So I went with gasoline instead. I hope to get tires and rims real soon and a winch in the near future. I am currently looking for a winch bumper/mount/grill guard for a F-250 if anyone has one they would like to get rid of. I want to buy a NEW winch, but would rather a USED mounting setup. Later.

Tire size conversion

I am curently looking into buying some tires for the truck I purchased Wednesday. This is the way to calculate tire size. I never knew how to, but after a little digging around I came up with this formula:

To convert tire size to a height

Example:

305/70 R16

305 is the millimeter width of the tire
70 is the percentage of the width that determines the height of the side wall
16 is the diameter of the rim

1 inch is equal to 25.4 millimeters.

So, convert the 305 mm into inches by dividing 305 by 25.4. This gives you 12.007 inches. This is how wide the tire is. Now multiply 12.007 by 70%. This gives you 8.4 inches. This is the height of the side wall.

Now multiply the height of the sidewall by two (this takes into account the top and bottom) which gives you 16.8 inches plus the diameter of the rim 16 inches, making a grand total of 32.8 inches of tire height.

Pretty nifty shit huh? Just wanted to pass on my new found knowledge. Later.