Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer
rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25 No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years,
will this matter?'
27 Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything..
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
There are a lot of good points made here. And I believe that the more of them you can follow and honestly believe, your life and those around you would be better for it. Hope everything is going the way you want it to in your life. But if it is not, only one person can change that. Good luck. Later.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Here is another Perry Cooler-funny stuff
Another Perry Cooler prank. I may just have to start doing this on the side. Aaron is itching to create a blog and e-mail address to mess with people.
E-Prank:The Auctioneer…
Original Craigslist Posting:
KITCHEN CLOCK – $125
Date: 2010-03-22, 10:22AM CDT
Reply to: sale-cd7ep-16556311564@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Oak Kitchen Shelf clock in very good condition. Picture attached. Patent on works is late 1800′s
——————————————————————————————–
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Hello kind patron. My name is Perry Cooler, I am an antique and auction specialist out of Springfield Missouri. For hobby I like to get vintage items out of craigslist for my own re-sell. I would buy this off of you, but it is within my auctioneer etiquette to tell you that what you have is a one of a kind piece. It’s excites me to see this kind of item is in circulation still, because it is unequivocally one of the best Americana, post civil war clocks made in our time!
Congrats!
-Perry Cooler
—————————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
What? this has been sittin in my grandmas kitchen for the past 40 some odd years. do you think it is worth anything more than what im askin?
————————————————————————————————
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Here is a little back story, that particular clock was made by Kum and Felch co., a pair of Danish immigrants who came to the USA during the civil war era to continue their family legacy of intricate clock engineering. At the time, the only ‘immigrant’ clock making company was the highly touted Gizinmouth, the german socialite/clock savant who really gave the business it’s lucrative edge and ‘melting pot’ design.
To make this story short, Gizinmouth inc went out of business to give the torch to Kum and Felch who made a great success out of their family craft. What you have there is an 1861 Kum and Felch, “besondere” which means special to Germans. It is the first of their highly publicized releases.
A piece like that in the condition it is in is worth about 14,000-17,000 dollars by today’s markets!
Congratulations! You have a true american treasure!
——————————————————————————————-
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
You can tell all of that from just looking at a picture? It still turns and everything? do you think its worth any more money if its still works?
———————————————————————————————-
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
A working Kum and Felch in that good of condition will add about another 5,000 dollars to you’re ending price. I would highly consider getting that insured!
—————————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
I dont know what to say! thanks for the info! I’m gonna get this appraised here in town this week!
————————————————————————————
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
That sounds great! Congrats again on having that little gold mine of yours! Do tell me how it goes!
-Perry
——————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
Ok you son of a bitch, I was talking to my brother about our grandmas clock and he laughed in my fucking face! CUM AND FELCH!JIZZ IN MOUTH Very fucking funny asshole. Did you seriously waste two days worth of emails for this. Very fucking funny ASSHOLE! GO TO HELL!
——————————————————————————–
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Never take candy from a stranger, Dickweed…
———————————————————————————
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
Fuck you perry!
Later.
E-Prank:The Auctioneer…
Original Craigslist Posting:
KITCHEN CLOCK – $125
Date: 2010-03-22, 10:22AM CDT
Reply to: sale-cd7ep-16556311564@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Oak Kitchen Shelf clock in very good condition. Picture attached. Patent on works is late 1800′s
——————————————————————————————–
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Hello kind patron. My name is Perry Cooler, I am an antique and auction specialist out of Springfield Missouri. For hobby I like to get vintage items out of craigslist for my own re-sell. I would buy this off of you, but it is within my auctioneer etiquette to tell you that what you have is a one of a kind piece. It’s excites me to see this kind of item is in circulation still, because it is unequivocally one of the best Americana, post civil war clocks made in our time!
Congrats!
-Perry Cooler
—————————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
What? this has been sittin in my grandmas kitchen for the past 40 some odd years. do you think it is worth anything more than what im askin?
————————————————————————————————
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Here is a little back story, that particular clock was made by Kum and Felch co., a pair of Danish immigrants who came to the USA during the civil war era to continue their family legacy of intricate clock engineering. At the time, the only ‘immigrant’ clock making company was the highly touted Gizinmouth, the german socialite/clock savant who really gave the business it’s lucrative edge and ‘melting pot’ design.
To make this story short, Gizinmouth inc went out of business to give the torch to Kum and Felch who made a great success out of their family craft. What you have there is an 1861 Kum and Felch, “besondere” which means special to Germans. It is the first of their highly publicized releases.
A piece like that in the condition it is in is worth about 14,000-17,000 dollars by today’s markets!
Congratulations! You have a true american treasure!
——————————————————————————————-
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
You can tell all of that from just looking at a picture? It still turns and everything? do you think its worth any more money if its still works?
———————————————————————————————-
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
A working Kum and Felch in that good of condition will add about another 5,000 dollars to you’re ending price. I would highly consider getting that insured!
—————————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
I dont know what to say! thanks for the info! I’m gonna get this appraised here in town this week!
————————————————————————————
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
That sounds great! Congrats again on having that little gold mine of yours! Do tell me how it goes!
-Perry
——————————————————————————–
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
Ok you son of a bitch, I was talking to my brother about our grandmas clock and he laughed in my fucking face! CUM AND FELCH!JIZZ IN MOUTH Very fucking funny asshole. Did you seriously waste two days worth of emails for this. Very fucking funny ASSHOLE! GO TO HELL!
——————————————————————————–
From: Perry Cooler To: Me******@hotmail.com
Never take candy from a stranger, Dickweed…
———————————————————————————
From: Me******@hotmail.com
To: Perry Cooler
Fuck you perry!
Later.
Perry Cooler gets a scrapper
This is from a site that does pranks on folks from Craigslist. Funny stuff.
To: *****@aol.com
Hey. I saw your post and need to have a bunch of my junk hauled off. Whatever you find you keep man. I need this done ASAP. Let me know if you can help man. Thanks!-Perry
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
SURE PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL ***-***-****
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *****@aol.com
I get crap for reception out here. Do you work any special times? do you want any pictures? I am more than willing to accommodate your needs. I can really use your help man.
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
OK. SEND ME PIC OF WHAT YOU WANT HAULED AWAY
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *****@aol.com
Alrighty then. I got hoards of these man berries I’m needing to get taken off my hands. They are too big and voluptuous to be ridden inside this denim hell. If you could take this junk from me, I’d really appreciate it!
To: *****@aol.com
Hey. I saw your post and need to have a bunch of my junk hauled off. Whatever you find you keep man. I need this done ASAP. Let me know if you can help man. Thanks!-Perry
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
SURE PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL ***-***-****
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *****@aol.com
I get crap for reception out here. Do you work any special times? do you want any pictures? I am more than willing to accommodate your needs. I can really use your help man.
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
OK. SEND ME PIC OF WHAT YOU WANT HAULED AWAY
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From: PerryCooler@Live.com
To: *****@aol.com
Alrighty then. I got hoards of these man berries I’m needing to get taken off my hands. They are too big and voluptuous to be ridden inside this denim hell. If you could take this junk from me, I’d really appreciate it!
——————————————————————————————————————————————
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
I BET UD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME TAKE THAT OFF YOUR HAND YOU FAGOT. HOW ABOUT I COME THERE AND KICK YOUR LITTLE FAGGOT ASS INSTEAD
From:*****@aol.com
To: PerryCooler@Live.com
I BET UD LIKE SOMEONE TO COME TAKE THAT OFF YOUR HAND YOU FAGOT. HOW ABOUT I COME THERE AND KICK YOUR LITTLE FAGGOT ASS INSTEAD
Later.
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